I went to the kitchen to get more ice and I saw your mom cornering Brian. She had her hand on his chest. She was standing really close to him. When she saw me, she backed off and acted normal. Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t know what I saw. I thought maybe I misread the situation. Brian seemed uncomfortable, but he didn’t say anything.

Then a week later, he ghosted you. I wondered if the two things were connected, but I had no proof. I’m sorry, Amber. I should have said something. It’s not your fault. I said, none of this is your fault, but inside I was screaming. Brian had ghosted me right after my birthday. Right after my mother had cornered him. She had probably threatened him or seduced him or both. There’s more.

Jessica said, “Your mom called me a few months after Brian disappeared. She asked me if you were seeing anyone new. I said no. She said that was good. That you needed to focus on yourself, that men were just distractions. It felt weird at the time, but I didn’t think much of it. She was monitoring me.

” I said, making sure I stayed single. It looks that way. After we hung up, I immediately drove to my mother’s house. I didn’t call first. I just showed up. She answered the door in a silk robe, looking surprised. Amber, what a lovely surprise. Come in, honey. I walked past her into the living room. The house looked the same as always.

Clean, elegant, full of photos of me and Michelle as children. Photos of the perfect family we never were. Did you sleep with Jake? I asked. Her face changed just for a second. A flash of something cold. Then she smiled. Honey, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t lie to me, I said. Jake told me everything. Michelle told me everything.

I know what you did. She sat down on her couch and crossed her legs. Calm. Completely calm. Okay, she said. Yes. I slept with Jake and I slept with Michelle’s boyfriends. And I slept with your high school boyfriend Marcus and your college boyfriend Tom. I felt like the floor disappeared beneath me. Marcus, I whispered.

Tom, all of them? She said casually. Every single one. Why? I asked. Why would you do that? Because they weren’t good enough for you? She said simply. Any man who would sleep with his girlfriend’s mother is not loyal. I was protecting you. Protecting me? I shouted. You destroyed my relationships. I saved you from heartbreak, she said.

Better to find out early that they were trash than to waste years on them. What about Brian? I asked. What did you do to Brian? She smiled. Actually smiled. Brian was particularly easy, she said. I told him you had been diagnosed with a serious mental illness. That you were unstable. That you had hurt yourself in the past. He was terrified.

He ran away like the coward he was. I stared at her. You lied about me having a mental illness. I did what I had to do. He wasn’t right for you. You don’t get to decide that. I’m your mother. It’s my job to protect you. Protect me? I was shaking now. You ruined my life. Do you understand that? I spent years thinking something was wrong with me, thinking I was unlovable because you sabotaged every relationship I ever had.

She stood up and suddenly her calm mask cracked. Her face twisted into something ugly. Unlovable? She hissed. I’m the only one who loves you enough to protect you. Every single one of those boys would have cheated on you eventually. I just sped up the process. You should be thanking me. Thanking you? I backed toward the door. You’re sick.

You need help. Get out, she said coldly. Get out of my house gladly, I said. And don’t ever contact me again. I drove home shaking so hard I almost crashed twice. When I got to my apartment, I blocked my mother on everything. Phone, email, social media, everything. Then I called Michelle back. I confronted her.

I said, “What did she say?” She admitted it. All of it. She said she was protecting us. And Michelle, she lied to Brian. Told him I had a mental illness. That’s why he ghosted me. Michelle, that sounds like her. Amber, there’s something else you should know. What? I did some research after I found out. I talked to some of mom’s old friends.

Apparently, she did this to her own sister, too. Back in the 80s, slept with Aunt Caroline’s husband. That’s why Aunt Caroline doesn’t speak to her anymore. I remembered Aunt Caroline. I hadn’t seen her since I was a kid. I always thought they had some boring adult fight about money or inheritance. It’s a pattern.

Michelle said, “Mom is obsessed with proving that the people we love aren’t loyal. I think it makes her feel powerful, like she’s the only person we can trust. That’s twisted, I said. I know. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. But Amber, you need to know it goes even deeper than the boyfriends.

What do you mean? Do you remember your friend from high school, Katie? Katie, my best friend from sophomore to junior year. We were inseparable. Then suddenly, she stopped talking to me. Started spreading rumors about me. What about Katie? Mom told her you were talking behind her back, saying terrible things about her.

Katie believed it. That’s why she turned on you. How do you know that? I ran into Katie at a coffee shop in Boston last year. She lives there now. We started talking. She told me she felt terrible about what happened, but she thought you hated her. She said your mom showed her text messages where you called her names.

Katie said the messages looked real. They were fake. I said like the ones she showed Marcus. Exactly. Mom has been sabotaging your friendships too, not just your relationships. I felt like I was going to be sick again. Why would she do that? Why would she want me to be alone? Because if you’re alone, you only have her. That’s what narcissists do.

They isolate you. Make you dependent on them. I hung up and sat in silence for a long time. How many friendships had my mother destroyed? How many opportunities had she ruined? I started making a list, writing down every relationship that ended suddenly, every friendship that fell apart for no reason.

The list was long, longer than I wanted to admit. Then I started reaching out to people. old friends, old boyfriends, people I hadn’t talked to in years. I sent them all the same message. I know this is random, but did my mother ever contact you or say anything strange about me? The responses came in slowly, but they came.

Tom, my college boyfriend, responded first. Your mom told me you were cheating on me with your study partner. She showed me photos of you and him at the library. She said you confessed to her. I broke up with you without asking because I was hurt and stupid. I’m sorry, Amber. I should have talked to you first. Marcus, my high school boyfriend, sent a long message.

Your mom told me you were sleeping with someone from drama class. She had text messages to prove it. I was 17 and believed her. I broke up with you and started dating someone else to make you jealous. By the time I realized the text were fake, you hated me. I was too ashamed to tell you the truth. I’m sorry, Katie. My old friend wrote back.

Your mom told me you called me fat and ugly behind my back. She showed me messages. They looked real. I was hurt and angry. I said terrible things about you to other people. I’ve regretted it ever since. I’m so sorry, Amber. I should have asked you about it first. One by one, the responses came in, each one revealing another layer of my mother’s manipulation.

She had spent years systematically destroying my support system, making sure I had no one but her. I cried for hours, not just for myself, but for all the people she hurt, all the relationships she poisoned. Jessica came over that night. She brought wine and pizza and just sat with me while I cried.

“What are you going to do?” she asked. “I don’t know.” Part of me wants to confront her again. To make her admit what she did to everyone, but I know she’ll just deny it or twist it around. “What about your dad? Does he know my dad?” I hadn’t even thought about calling him. My parents had divorced when I was 12. Dad moved to Florida and remarried.

We talked occasionally, but weren’t close. My mother always said dad abandoned us. That he chose his new wife over me and Michelle. I believed her for years, but now I wondered if that was another lie. The next morning, I called my father. Dad, I said, why did you and mom really get divorced? Silence. Amber, that’s ancient history. Please, I need to know.

He sighed. Your mother cheated multiple times with my friends, my co-workers, even my brother. She said she was testing their loyalty, testing to see if they were really my friends. I couldn’t take it anymore. I filed for divorce and moved away. Why didn’t you fight for custody? I asked. I tried. But your mother is very good at manipulating people.

She convinced the judge I was unstable, that I abandoned the family. By the time I could afford a better lawyer, you girls were older and the court said you could choose. You both chose to stay with her because she told us you didn’t want us, I said, the realization hitting me. I know. I got your letters. The ones where you said I was a bad father, that you never wanted to see me again.

I never sent you letters, I said. Another silence. She wrote them, Dad said quietly. She forged your handwriting. I should have known. I should have fought harder. I’m sorry, Amber. It’s not your fault, Dad. She manipulated all of us. What made you call and ask about this now? I told him everything about Jake. About Michelle.

About the pattern of sabotage. When I finished, he was quiet for a long time. I’m not surprised, he finally said. Your mother did the same thing to me. She tried to sabotage my relationship with Susan. Sent her anonymous messages saying I was cheating. Called her at work and hung up. Susan almost left me because of it.

What did you do? I got a restraining order. It was the only way to make her stop. Amber, you need to protect yourself. Your mother is not going to change. She’s not going to suddenly realize what she’s done and apologize. You need to cut her out of your life completely. I already blocked her on everything. That’s good, but you might need to do more.

Document everything. Save the messages, the texts, get statements from Jake and the others. You might need evidence if she escalates. Escalates how? Your mother doesn’t handle rejection well. When I left her, she tried to ruin my life. She called my job and said I was stealing from the company. She told my family I was abusing her.

She even called the police and said I threatened her. None of it was true, but I had to deal with it all anyway. Did the police believe her at first? But I had evidence that I wasn’t anywhere near her when she claimed I threatened her. The charges were dropped, but it was a nightmare. Amber, I don’t want you to go through the same thing.

After I hung up, I felt paranoid. What would my mother do now that I had cut her off? Would she try to ruin my life like she tried to ruin Dad’s? I decided to follow dad’s advice. I started documenting everything. I screenshotted all the messages Jake had shown me. I asked Tom and Marcus to send me any evidence they had.

I wrote down dates and times and details of every conversation. I also contacted a lawyer just to see what my options were. The lawyer’s name was Rebecca. She specialized in family law and harassment cases. This is a complicated situation, Rebecca said after I explained everything. Your mother hasn’t technically broken any laws in most of these cases.

Sleeping with your boyfriends is morally wrong, but not illegal. Lying to them about you is manipulative, but also not illegal. What about the fake text messages? Isn’t that fraud or something? It could be, but proving it would be difficult. You would need the original messages. Evidence that she created them. Most of these incidents happened years ago.

The evidence is probably gone, so there’s nothing I can do. I didn’t say that. The threats she made to Jake could be considered blackmail or extortion. If Jake is willing to testify, we might have a case there. Also, if she tries to contact you after you’ve made it clear you want no contact, that could be harassment.

I recommend getting a restraining order if she attempts to reach you again. How do I get a restraining order? You file a petition with the court. You explain the situation and provide evidence. If the judge agrees there’s a threat, they’ll issue a temporary order. Then there’s a hearing where both sides present their case.

Would I have to see her? Probably, but you wouldn’t have to speak to her. Your lawyer would speak for you. The thought of seeing my mother in court made me anxious, but I knew it might be necessary. Let me think about it, I said. Take your time, but document everything in the meantime. If she contacts you, don’t respond. Just save the evidence.

I left Rebecca’s office feeling slightly better. At least I had a plan. At least I knew what to do if things got worse. Days passed. Then weeks, I threw myself into work. Tried to keep busy. Tried not to think about my mother. Then one night, my doorbell rang. It was almost midnight. I looked through the peepphole and saw Marcus, my high school boyfriend.

I hadn’t seen him in almost 10 years. Amber, I know it’s late. He called through the door. But I really need to talk to you. I opened the door. Marcus looked different. Older obviously, but also tired, worn out. I heard about your mom, he said. Jake posted something on social media. He didn’t name names, but I figured it out.

I need to tell you something. Come in, I said. He sat down and rubbed his face. When we broke up, he said, “You thought I cheated on you with that girl from my math class. Remember?” I nodded. “That breakup had destroyed me in high school.” “I didn’t cheat on you.” Marcus said, “Your mom told me you cheated on me.” She showed me fake text messages.

Said you were sleeping with some guy from your drama class. I was 17 and stupid. I believed her. I broke up with you and started dating the math class girl to make you jealous. By the time I realized your mom had lied, you hated me. I was too ashamed to tell you the truth. I stared at him. She made fake text messages. Yeah, they looked real.

She showed them to me on her phone. Said she found them on your computer. I’m sorry, Amber. I should have talked to you first. I was a kid and I made a terrible mistake. Did you sleep with her? I asked. He looked down. Yeah. After we broke up, she called me a few weeks later. Said she wanted to apologize for getting involved.

Invited me over. I thought she was being nice. Then she came on to me. I said no at first, but she kept pushing. I was 17 and she was an adult. I didn’t know what to do. Oh my god, I whispered. I felt disgusting afterward, Marcus said. I never told anyone. But when I saw Jake’s post, I realized I wasn’t alone. I realized she did this to other guys, too. I’m sorry, Amber.

I should have told you years ago. After Marcus left, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about how many lives my mother had ruined, how many relationships she had destroyed, and I kept thinking about Marcus, 17 years old, manipulated by a woman in her 30s. My mother. The next morning, I called my father again.

“Dad, did mom ever do anything inappropriate with young guys, like teenagers?” He was quiet for a moment. “Why are you asking?” “Because Marcus just told me she slept with him when he was 17, right after they broke up.” “Jesus Christ,” Dad muttered. “I don’t know, Amber. I mean, she always paid a lot of attention to your boyfriends.

I thought she was just being friendly. But now that you mention it, there were a few times I caught her acting strangely around your friends. She would touch their arms, stand too close, laugh too loud at their jokes. Did you ever say anything?” “No, I told myself I was imagining things. I didn’t want to believe my wife was capable of that. I’m sorry, Amber.

I should have paid more attention.” It’s not your fault. She’s good at hiding what she really is. After we hung up, I called Rebecca, my lawyer. Marcus was a minor when she slept with him, I said. That’s illegal, right? How old was your mother at the time? 39 and he was 17. Yes, that could potentially be statutory assault depending on the state.

The statute of limitations might have run out, but it’s worth looking into. Is Marcus willing to file a report? I don’t know. I can ask. I called Marcus and explained what the lawyer said. He was hesitant. I don’t know if I can go through with that, he said. It was 10 years ago. I just want to move on. I understand.

But Marcus, if she did this to you, she might have done it to other young guys. Don’t you want to stop her? He was quiet for a long time. Let me think about it. He finally said while I waited for Marcus to decide. I kept reaching out to other people from my past. I found Brian on Facebook and sent him a message.

Brian, I know you ghosted me 3 years ago. I recently found out my mother lied to you about me. Can we talk? He responded within an hour. Amber, I’m so sorry. Your mom told me you had severe depression and had tried to hurt yourself. She said you were obsessed with me and that I needed to cut off all contact for your own safety. She said if I broke up with you normally, you might do something dangerous. I was scared.

I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was protecting you by disappearing. I read his message three times. Each time I felt angrier. My mother had convinced Brian that I was suicidal, that I was dangerous to myself, all to make him leave me. Did she ever contact you again after that? I wrote back, “Yeah, she would text me every few weeks asking if I had contacted you.

” She said she was monitoring the situation. “It was weird, but I thought she was just being a protective mom. She was controlling me, making sure I stayed isolated. I’m really sorry, Amber. I should have talked to you. I should have verified what she was saying. It’s not your fault.” She manipulated both of us. I added Brian to the list of people my mother had manipulated.

The list was getting longer every day. Then, I had an idea. I created a private Facebook group. I called it the truth about Linda Mason, my mother’s name. I invited Michelle, Marcus, Jake, Tom, and Brian. Tom was my college boyfriend. I hadn’t spoken to him in years, but I found him on LinkedIn.

Tom accepted the invitation immediately. He messaged me privately. I wondered if you’d ever find out, he wrote. She slept with me, too. After we broke up, she said, “You asked her to do it to test if I still loved you. I was young and stupid, and I said yes. I’m sorry.” Within 24 hours, I had six guys in the group.

Six men had slept with who had dated either me or Michelle. We all shared our stories, the manipulation, the lies, the threats. One of Michelle’s exes, a guy named Ryan, said our mother had blackmailed him. She had secretly recorded them having sex and threatened to show it to his new girlfriend if he didn’t pay her $5,000.

Did you pay? I asked in the group chat. Yeah, I was terrified. I paid her and she deleted the video. Or so she said. I felt sick again. My mother wasn’t just a narcissist. She was a predator, a criminal. We should go to the police, Michelle wrote in the group and tell them what Ryan wrote back. That a woman seduced us. They’ll laugh at us.

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